About

Hi, I’m Bert and I’m a screenwriter. When I’m not writing entertainment, I am writing about it. This site contains short reviews of things I am watching, playing, reading… Completely on my own time. I tend to focus on the stories and narrative and try to figure out the age-old question: how did they do it?

Enjoy the read and feel free to drop me a line! Be sure to visit my portfolio for further info.

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Dark Shadows

“That was a regrettable turn of events.” (Barnabus Collins)

When I saw the trailer for Dark Shadows, Tim Burton’s newest feature, I wasn’t sure what to think. It shifted colour between silly comedy red and stupid drama blue so often I was getting an epilepsy attack. That’s a bad sign: if the trailer to a straightforward movie (hey, we’re talking Burton) can’t decide on what it wants to show, it’s usually because the movie doesn’t know what it is.

Turns out that was exactly the case. Warning, this is a terribly written review for a terribly written movie. Continue reading

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Take Shelter

“Is anyone seeing this?” (Curtis)

I don’t know what it is that made me go see “Take Shelter”. Was it the promise of Michael Shannon, one of the giants who breathe life into Boardwalk Empire? Was it the premise – a movie not showing its full hand of cards before it’s entirely over? Or was it just that breathtaking poster, with its explosion of both colour and intimacy?

These are the movies I live for. The ones I know nothing about and then genuinely surprise me. Continue reading

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The Iron Lady (and how I would fix it)

“It used to be about trying to do something. Now it’s about trying to be someone.”

You know that feeling you can only get in the cinema? It’s that short moment the lights go on and you look around at your friends sitting next to you, the moment you know you just shared an experience and you want to find out whether what happened to you also happened to others. Usually, this is the moment where discussions start – no two experiences are ever the same. When the movie’s unanimously bad, you’re safe. When it’s the greatest thing ever, you’re usually fine, too. But when the movie is a mixed bag… that’s when the cat fights start.

I braced myself when The Iron Lady‘s credits started rolling. And then found out we all had just about the same problems with it. I guess you’d call the movie unanimously flawed. Continue reading

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The Artist

When I first heard about the Artist and saw the trailer, I knew I had to see it. So I eagerly awaited the release date. By the time it launched in Germany, however, it seemed like the entire world had been engulfed by the quirky silent movies charm. And then it got nominated for every Oscar (and then some). So I groaned it off and decided I’d wait until the hype was over.

Then came the 29th of February, a dead day, a day that’s not supposed to exist. So I figured: now’s as good a time as any. Turned out that was a good call.

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Downton Abbey 201

“War has a way of distinguishing between the things that matter and the things that don’t.” (Matthew)

Well, we’re back. The year is 1916 and we’re in the middle of the first World War. The stakes are high but still everything has its usual casual charm in Downton Abbey’s second season.

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Boardwalk Empire 211 – Under God’s Power she Flourishes

“I think there’s no one else in the all the world; there’s only you and me.” (Gillian)

Okay, I’m not going to beat a dead horse for long, other reviewers have done this already. But please do allow me this short rant: Boardwalk Empire has never been more blatantly Oedipal than this. In one episode, Jimmy Darmody went from shellshocked criminal to tragic victim of his surroundings. And to think it was as easy as letting his sleep with his mother and kill his father.

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